What the Reveal Might Reveal About Us

There are many ways one can tell one is aging, Dear Reader.  One way which keeps popping up more and more in my life is, “The game keeps changing and I don’t understand why.”  Naturally, I am referring to the new-to-me and apparently-trending “Gender Reveal Parties.”

I remember when the genders of both of my children were revealed.  At the first reveal my husband and I were both present when the doctor said, “SHE’S A GIRL!”  And I remember laying there in the hospital bed pleased as punch that I was a mommy to a healthy, beautiful baby girl.

The second gender reveal also came in a hospital.  I had to pay extra close attention to this reveal as my notification came through one doctor’s words to a second doctor. “The cord is wrapped around his neck three times.”  Thankfully, I was able to focus on the word “his” and not the phrase, “cord wrapped around his neck.”  I was delighted to be the mother of a healthy, handsome boy and it goes without saying, we are so grateful for no long term damage to our “little” almost 6’4” guy.

So there were my two big “gender reveals.”  I suspect that sounds archaic these days. I know it would sound archaic to some who live in my neighborhood.

A bit of an explanation, Dear Reader, when I say our “neighborhood,” here in northern Indiana, that means someone within a four mile radius.  Seriously.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve met someone and he or she says, “Well, I’m your neighbor!”  (And I learn he or she lives one mile south, two miles west from me.)  So recently, a couple in our “neighborhood” had a gender reveal party.  At the time we didn’t know it.  At the time when the tannerite explosion literally shook our world, my son hopped off the couch and reported pink smoke billowing our way.  We mused a few moments on what might be happening, but after everything that’s happened in the last year, we’ve grown to not be too terribly surprised at anything.

Imagine our surprise when we later learned that the simultaneous money spent on an explosion and air pollution was a “gender reveal.”  From what I’ve learned from raising children, they are expensive.  They are a continual expense, which, for my husband and I, has not let up in the last 21 years.  That couple may wish they had the money they spent on the tannerite to spend on diapers, or insurance for their young driver, or college, but again, I’ve always been practical and a long-term planner.

I guess that’s one of the many ways the world has changed in the last 20 years.  Nowadays, it (whatever “it” is) has all got to happen with a bang, a pop, a big announcement, razzle, dazzle, and magic.  Yet I wonder what happens. . .what happens for the next “thing” in life.  It’s been my finding over the last 50 years that everything seems to grow to be bigger, better, more. . . .and honestly, if tannerite is announcing one’s entrance into the world, isn’t it going to be difficult to top that?  Is it necessary to top that?

And that’s how you know you are old, Dear Reader.  You know you are old when it’s none of your business what happens a mile down the road but you shake your head knowingly, and say, “They’re gonna wish they’d saved that $74.99 (multiple payment options available)  they spent on the tannerite!”  Yep!  I looked it up online. There’s literally a payment plan option for tannerite gender reveal parties!

Until the next Wednesday, the Lord allows.