Soon, oh very soon, my 50th birthday will arrive, Dear Reader. But it’s not in the bag. For the last 5 ½ years, I have never considered anything to be “in the bag,” a “slam-dunk,” or a “sure-thing.” That’s just one of the many lessons I learned on a highway one summer afternoon.
While I feel I am far from Eeyore, I’ve said many times, “The trip isn’t over until we pull safely into the garage.” I feel that way about automobile trips and everything else in my life.
But I’m so close to 50. And I am absolutely pumped!
Now there’s no denying, the plans I’d thought I had in place for my 50th birthday are no more because Dear Reader, we were going to celebrate with lots of chocolate and lots of people! The original plan was to have a sort of Birthday Open House. No gifts, lots of love, lots of laughter, and did I mention, lots of chocolate?
Like all of you in 2020, we’ve had so many of our plans get the big kibosh, and my 50th birthday party is no exception. I felt sorry for myself for about 2.3 seconds and then I moved on because here’s the good news . . . I have almost lived to age 50! I am still breathing and I just might make it! This is absolutely fantastic news!
Have you been around the people who say things like this Dear Reader?
- I stopped celebrating birthdays a few years ago.
- I don’t talk about my birthday any more.
- I just keep telling myself I’m 30 again.
Well, not me! Not me! One summer day, I sat barely able to breathe in a smashed minivan and I honestly wasn’t sure if I would make it to 50, or my next birthday, or even to see my husband or children ever again.
I simply didn’t know.
But I DID make it! I made it to see my husband and children again! I made it to my 45th birthday! And here I am on the precipice of making it to my 50th birthday! I’m not going to keep my age a secret, or pretend I’m still in my 40’s (although I will continue to dye my hair fake blonde), or sweep my birthday under the rug. Every day is such a gift! I might soon have 50 years under my belt!
Moment by moment, hour by hour, day by day, year by year my life has been filled with trials and triumphs. It has been filled with moments of absolute failure and absolute joy. There are moments as a wife and mom where I have absolutely rocked it and moments as a wife and mom where I should have been fired. I have been a jerk and I have been kind. I have been at my worst and I have been at my best. I have sobbed and I have not been able to stop laughing. I have lost and I have found. I have been disdained and I have been loved. I have handled situations terribly and I have handled situations with grace and class. I have made stupid choices and I’ve made great choices. And nobody who knows me can say, “Well, she’s done that all on her own.” Anyone who remotely knows me has to say, “Wow, by God’s grace, and God’s grace alone, Amy J. has made it! She has made it to 50!
So strike up the band! (OK, I’ll settle for Broadway show tunes on Pandora).
Break out the chocolate! (OK, but only if it’s individually wrapped and pre-packaged).
Live life and enjoy it to the max! (OK, without being in the same room with my friends).
Each and every year and day and hour and moment is a gift . . . and I’ve been given 50 years of them! WOOOOHOOOOOOO . . . I am so excited to almost officially be 50 years old! And honestly, it doesn’t get any better than this! (And maybe, Dear Reader, you feel the same way about your upcoming birthday too).
Until the next Wednesday the Lord allows.